sparkslife

Finally!!

The 7th Month of Lunar Calendar is here again!! Haha…

And since its my first time "celebrating" this special ocassion alone (I mean outside my home), I really have no idea what to do and how to prepare for stuff. Usually my Mom will burn some offering in the form of paper money (if I’m not mistaken) and some food I guess (You don’t burn them. Just offer only.). So is it kinda weird if I don’t burn or offer anything for the wondering spirits this year? I really don’t know, but there are two weird incidents that happened this week in my house.

Here goes.

<Incident #1>

It was a Sunday night. My brother just fetched me back from Old Klang Road (Home Sweet Home) . The stupid Forest Green guards won’t let us in the building without a pass. Damn. So my bro and I have to park our car outside the building. The first thing that greeted our eyes when we got out of the car is the sight of an old Uncle burning an elaborate amount of offerings. Maybe he is the "wakil" for the whole building I guess. Haha… We quicken our pace as the smoke really choking our senses. (Cough, cough). I, being clueless as always, asked my bro why that old Uncle burning those stuff at this time.

"Hello? Seventh Month adi larh! Haha… Of course he burn those stuff la. "

At that moment a swept of cold icy wind blowed towards us.

We, being taught by our Mom since we are small to ignore this kinda stuff, decided to… you’know to do the best thing! (IGNORE it! Like duh!). Haha… After a tedious effort of ignoring the "unmentionable"(What the..?) we reached the condo. I opened the wooden door and peep inside. EMPTY. As usual. Typical empty Sunday (Please refer to "The One With Homeless Point Of View"). After my Bro dropped my stuff he left. Haha… I’m alone all over again. But then again… From the corner of my eyes i saw….

Suddenly a tall figure emerged from my room.

<Ladies screaming sounds>

OK chill… it’s just my roomate Jet. But he do give me a scare. Coming out the room quietly in the dark like that! Haha… After that I opened every room door to make sure no one is at home (to avoid another RUDE scare!). After the complete search out, I sit on my chair to relax a while. Why am I so tense? C’mon it’s just Hungry Ghost Festival. I mean its just the time where hungry ghosts roam around us freely without us noticing rite? (OK I gotta stop thinking!)

To stop my thoughts and my mind from wandering too far, I took out my Math tutorial and decided to work on it. "Wa! So hard 1 meh?? This is totally killin me! Haiya..", I proclaimed loudly. Tired from the shits that going on, I relaxed my neck by doing some exercise (flexing my neck). Then my eyes caught something beneath Sue Ling’s chair. Its looks like some dry liquid in maroon color.

How freaky can it be??

My blood totaly froze at THAT moment. I mean this shit usually happened in horror films like (Suggested names include The Apartment or The Condo or The Chair) and in True Singapore Ghost Stories but NEVER NEVER in the REAL world…. and TO ME! My body quickly shut down and went into a "I-Can’t-See-or-Feel-Anything" mode. This mode works to perfection! (I think I’m gettin NUMB). I went into my room and call my roomate to get his ass off the computer and go outside to see the patches of dried blood on the floor. I guess he also went into this mode. (Eyes wide. No voice. Stun) The two of us went out and investigate the unknown liquid. (In which we believed is BLOOD). From my angle just now, it looks DAMN freaking like BLOOD. But now from this angle I can see the shiny side of it! Damn. Blood don’t shine! (At least NOT human blood). I take a closer look. (Jet stayed back behind). To my suprise it’s actually…….

ADUIH…..

It’s Sue Ling make-up tertumpah la. Haiyo. Nail gloss or something in some reddish color. Haih… What the hell?? Too much la.. Tumpah this stuff to scare people! In this ocassion!! Haha…

After that little scare, I decided to call it a night (That’s too much for 1 night). After brushing my teeth I went outside and off all the lights. Easy task. Done. Go inside my room and sleep. Tomorrow wake up you will laugh at how silly you are tonight.

But DAMN! I forgot my cellphone. I quickly open my door and went out to the darken hall. My eyes are trying their best to adjust to the darkness, but to no avail. Still, in the darkness I can make out some movement near the glass door. I froze at where I stand. My eyes tryin their best to make out the figure. The creature whatever it is saw me and jumps out to the balcony thru the opening of the glass door. For a few seconds, I saw what that creature is with the help of the street lights outside.

IT WAS A CAT.

A DARN BLACK CAT!

Now where is the PEST CONTROL when you them??

<Incidents #2>

Few nights after that FATEFUL night, our house got some special visitor…. in the from of a MOTH. A large MOTH. When the moth announced its arrival, my housemate (Sue Ling & Arveen) show their discomfort for this uninvited guest.Haha… (Arveen open the gate and ran outside, Sue Ling stick herself to the wall in the hope that the moth will treat her as part of the wallpaper or something!) HAHA… The two of them screamed "Get the thing out! FAST!". I take the newspaper and halau our little visitor away. But it refuse to bulge and I really don’t want to hurt it! (It looks so innocent and freaky!). Finally with a little planning and quick thinking we (Sue Ling come out from her hiding place and help to close the glass door) managed to get the DAMN thing out!

But for the whole night, the thingy just hang around the balcony in the hope of getting in. You guys do know rite what a moth symbolises? It symbolises the form of the spirits take when they come for visit. So it kinda normal for people to freak when they saw one flying into their house joyfully.

Whatever it is, luckily 7th month come once a year. If not all these creatures will come in bulk and my house will have will not be spare from the scream and wail of my roomate.

Again… where is the PEST CONTROL when you need them??

Haih…

I was a fat boy.

Believe me, life as a fat boy wasn’t that easy. For me, I had already got used to the teasing and the mocking from my kind and understanding peers (Yes. Thank you very much for making my life miserable!). So you can say that life is not a bed of roses for me. Apart from the fact that I can eat almost whatever stuff that I want, I could think of anything good that come from being fat. Once I have to lie to my PE (that’s Physical Education for those of you that are still holding on to the term “PJK”. C’mon PJK is not happening enough lah!) teacher (I told her I got asthma! Haha… and she believe!) so that I could escape from “Marathon Practice” or something.

Anyway I keep on using that lame excuse until that one day. That one fateful day where I really lose it all. I guess I was possessed by whatever spirit of the track team or ghost of the school jock. If not how the hell will I end up in a RACE? In front of the whole school some more. So naturally Teck Fui the Fat Boy will end up last in the race. Yup, and that’s what exactly happened. I still remember the exact sequence as if it happened yesterday.

<Bad Memory>

Advisory: Please (and I said PLEASE) do not ever mention anything about these shits to me again the next time you see me.  I’ve successfully deleted all these bad and corrupted memories during the grueling and rigorous process of writing this blog. So all unnecessary comments and unfunny jokes will not be entertained. Thank you very much.

2A11, WOON TECK FUI

My blood froze when they announced my name. That is one moment where I wish I am not Woon Teck Fui. As I was being possessed by whatever spirit of the school, I did not con the pregnant PE teacher (What! They always pregnant lah.) into believing that I have some kind of life threatening disease. Reluctantly I took off my shoes and socks and joined the rest of my classmates in the field.

From my point of view, the field looked veeeery long and scary. The brownish grassy lines drawn by them seemed endless and stretching to an infinite length. Behind me, one of my classmate (I think it was Elizabeth but I’m not sure) shouted some words of encouragements to me. “Just run Teck Fui!! You can do it!!”

OK that’s embarrassing.

“Of course I will run!! You see, that’s the whole point of a race. YOU RUN!! And how do you KNOW that I can do it. You never had been in my shoes before!! And in this case I’m not wearing any now. And you have no idea how embarrassing it is to be reminded by one of your classmate in front of others on how to RUN!!”

I want say (or is it shout?) that but I digress.

As a return of her kindness I offered her a weak smile and a wave. She smiled back at me. Maybe she meant no harm after all. Haha…

On your mark!!

O oh… I quickly stumble upon the starting line (I guess that’s what they called it). With fingers crossed tightly and sweat forming excessively on my forehead, I waited for the whistle to blow.

Get set!!!

Any minute now. C’mon Teck Fui. Run your ass off. Run as if you are Forest Gump! Run Forest! Run! Run Teck Fui! Run!!

PHEEEET!!!!

I surged forward with a burst of energy. Just run. Just run. You can do it Teck Fui. I glanced to my left. The person on my left was obviously on some kind drugs because he was running like an escaped wild horse. He was running like it’s nobody’s business. I turn to my right. I saw trees and the school wall. What?? There’s nobody there!! Gosh!! I looked in front and there they are! All in front of me!! Running happily and joyously.

OMG!!

I’m the last person. ORANG TERAKHIR!! How embarrassing!

From behind I can hear laughter and giggle. Why the scientists of this century can’t come up with the formula for invisibility and save me from the embarrassment? How good if I can just whip out the Invisibility Cloak and concealed myself underneath it Haih… This totally reminds me of the Iris song by Goo Goo Dolls. It goes like this:
                  

And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cuz I don’t think they will understand
When everything meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

How apt!

OK back to the race. I’m still running like a maniac and there’s still a good distance between me and the finishing line. I glanced in front. My vision was blurring and I can’t see clearly with my heart beating so fast. But blind as I may be, I still managed to see the sight of my thin and fit classmates crossing the finishing line. What the…? Am I really that slow?? I looked around me for a sign of hope. Anything. Anything that will help me to get away from this. I glanced left and I looked right. Nothing. No saving angels this time.

WAIT!!

Just as I was about to give up, I saw the sight that I will remember even to this day.

In front of me, my Malay classmate had stopped running and was bending down on the grass tying his shoelaces. God had answered my prayers! (It’s just an expression. I’m not a Christian!) Taking this opportunity to good use, I sped up with whatever energy left in my body. I run and run. I still remember the cold sensation of wind slapping against your sweaty face. There is still hope left for me!! Thank God! But obviously the Malay guy saw me trying to take over him. So he did the most natural thing in the world. Take off his shoes and run (Like duh!).

OMG!!

He started to run!! And when he runs he really RUN!! The “whatever energy left in my body” had obviously finishing because I beginning to slow down (Or is he running faster?!). When he finally sprinted through the finishing line, it becomes obvious that I was the last one there. To make matter worse, those smarty ass so-called teachers decided that I’m not worthy of their time and packed their stuff nonchalantly and leave!! What the…??

At that point I reached the I-Don’t-Care-If-You-Are-There-Or-Not-I-Gotta-Finished-This-Damn-Race mode. I surged in front with whatever limited energy I got. At that moment I can’t hear anything except the sound of my own heartbeat. It’s as if the world has gone mute. My sight is on the damn line now. Crossed it and it’s over. Crossed it and you are over. OVER. Everything’s over………….

I can’t remember if I had made it through the finishing just in time before the next race start or not. All I remember was how soft the grass fell on my back. And how big the smile on my friend’s face when they find out that I made it!

Finishing that race really teaches me a lesson. Never give up in whatever stuff that you are doing. Giving up maybe the easiest way but it may not be the most profitable. I mean, I can just walk away from the race but NO! I insist on finishing it! Sportsmanship spirits or whatever they called it, it is a really important application for whatever stuff you are doing. Just don’t care about the results. The journey is what that matters!

Speaking of journey, I think I will join the forthcoming (next year) UTAR Jogathon. It covers a GREAT distance but I am not afraid as my spirit will definitely be BIGGER.

Hopefully this time I can nail it and I won’t be left behind again!