sparkslife

I wonder how many of you feels this way? Beneath the happy facade, lies a complete different individual.

Loneliness never accompany me this way before.

News flash!!

I screwed up again.

Well, not literally “screw up” of course (but although an actual screw up will be better than a metaphor-related screw up). Yeah once again our hero, Teck Fui finds himself stuck outside his residential area without… guess what? …a key!! Well if you did not follow my little adventure last time, you can kindly refer to that blog in somewhere in last year blog. (Look for the archive section.. haha..)

Seriously if I go through another one of this screw up situation, I would have enough experience to write a handbook on how to survive your first lock out. (Suggested title: Idiot’s Guide on How to Survive Diligently In Key-less Situation, No Keys? No Worries or even better Memoir of A Key-sha).If I’m lucky,  my book might just top the New York Times Bestseller List. People will find me as an inspiration to them and I will have a major tour around the world and if I’m really (and I say really lucky) I might be a regular on Oprah, Jimmy Kimmel or David Letterman. Ahhh… the glamour and the dough. (OK I seriously think too much when I’m stuck outside there)

Anyway, the day started off just like any other day. I woke up at around 12 (Ahem.. 1 pm) and get breakfast and stuff. The only major difference is that that day is New Year’s Eve. Oh yeah, you can’t forget the celebration, the kids with outrageous hairstyle, the bubble spray and of course the cost wasting fireworks. This year celebration is more well-planned compared to previous years (Don’t get me to started on that). We got our transport to come and go back and we have basically plan all that we need on the schedule. So no trouble right?

FREAKIN’ WRONG!!

Well, first of all, since my sister is fetching me back, I intelligently figure out that the key to my home will be completely unnecessary and a total waste of space in my pants pocket. So I cleverly dump the key at home. (Smile Teck Fui, you make history there). If my keys can talk it will be saying “I-told-you-this-gonna-happen-to-you” ker-zillion times already.

So anyway, to make it all perfect and wrap it up. My cell phone (ahhh… I just LOVE my cell phone) battery die at just the right moment. That would be the moment when I took out my cell to call my Bro to open up the door. Bravo 3230! You really collaborate well with my keys! (I love you guys so much I should just marry you guys).

As you can clearly see, I was stuck outside my home with nothing but a pocket full of RM 25.30, two pieces of 2008 calendars, a dead cell phones and my identity card (Yeah my iPod is not with me. Surprise surprise.). I look around my neighborhood for any signs of human being (Oh yeah, for your information, the mamak store in my area close as early as 12 am. So go figure).

As predicted, all the lights are off. Great, this just what I need. Why can’t any of my neighbors figure out that they have a trapped teenager here waiting outside of his dwellings at 2 am on New Year Day wondering why can’t he go through his life like any normal human being. (I guess the possibilities to that is 0.000001)

Just when I thought that God had given up hope on me, I heard a sound. It was so beautiful and soothing. It was the sound of my neighbor’s gate creaking!! (I’m saved!!). I gingerly ran over to my neighbor (by the way I never spoken to him before) and explain the shits I’m into and enquire on whether it will be convenient for him to lend his cell phone to me to save my pity life. (As predicted, he agreed. Told cha the pitiful face will work! hahaha)

Minutes later I punch my sister’s number and started dialing. Well, it works this way: First I can’t dial my Bro’s number (I can’t remember his number) and so I have to resolve to dial my sister’s number to call her to call up Bro to wake him up and finally to open up the gate for me. Nice plan huh? That’s what I thought also. Anyway, after talking to my sister, I feel a surge of HOPE running through every major vein in my body. (Ahhh… summer is coming!)

I listen for any signs of lock slamming or door creaking sound as I stand outside my gate. But all I hear is the occasional purring of THE stray cat and of course the beating of my own heart (Oh what a clichés!). Don’t worry Teck Fui, your Bro might be a bit hard to wake up. That’s all. When he shakes away his blurriness, he will come and open the gate for you.

10 minutes. (Oh he will be down any minutes. C’mon you can’t wait for 10 minutes?? Hahaha)

20 minutes… (Ok … now that’s a bit too long for a person to wake up. I must make a mental note to tell him that later. Very dangerous when there’s fire *knock wood* [Can’t find any woods so I knock on my Dad’s Proton Saga instead])

30 minutes…. (What happened? Did he trip and fell down the stairs? *Gasp*)

45 minutes…. (OK he is not coming down. Get over it!!!)

Disappointed and beaten, I can do nothing but squat down and wait for my sister instead. Deep inside I feel like pounding on my gate and shout my chant of “Open the door. Open the door!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!.

But I digress.

At this point my mind went delirious. I swear I saw a cat jump up my neighbor’s candy car and make a giant leap to his balcony. The cat then straightens himself and settles for a sitting position.  When his gaze lands on me, I can almost hear him says “At least I can jump. What you can do? Squat your way to safety? Hahhahaha ooohhh cough cough” And later the cat puke out a major fur ball and dies with his belly facing up.

When I feel that my mind whirl into his own little craziness and frantic, a pair of bright light shone from a corner of my eyes. I turned and expecting another crazy mirage (Chef Wan in cheung-sam sitting on a modern trishaw singing Auld Lang Syne). But what I saw is more bizarre than that (What??!). A sight I will remember forever. It was my sister’s car, rolling into oblivion and stopping just right in front of my home, to save my ass on the first day of 2008.

Well, you can’t say I didn’t learn anything from it (C’mon you kena twice already). I learn to always bring keys when you are going outta your house. I learn that 3 bars of battery life is not (I say NOT) sufficient for a night outside. But most importantly, I learned that you can’t depend on anybody forever. Ain’t nobody can save you from a situation like this. You gotta think for yourselves before you make a judgment. (Ok I get it Keys and Cell phone! I learned my lesson)

But seriously, Memoirs of a Key-sha anyone?